Flight to Mumbai

Well, I am not a frequent traveler to India and this is my first flight to Mumbai. I think it should be called Bombay as the Portuguese named it but the natives wanted to Indianize it ... So we all accept it as Mum-bai. I thought "Bai" or "Mai" was the lady who comes in the afternoon to clean the house and wash dishes.

A Bai in Delhi

I am a global traveler and take pride in my expertise to check in last minute so I know my baggage will come out first. Mostly, I avoid checking my baggage in as it reduces the probability of airlines losing your bag when you arrive at your destination. But the little Asian lady at San Francisco had some other thoughts. 

Carry-on bag

As usual, I was late for my check-in but confident that I will make it as I am a global traveler with TSE PreCheck. This helps me prevent an ignorant TSA asking me to scan my turban or do an hand scan. So, I was cruising on the TSE Precheck line to the annoyance of hundreds of passengers in the standard line. The Asian lady stopped me in my track and said that I need to check in my bag as its too big. I knew it as I was trying to stuff clothes for 12 day trip in a carry on bag. I followed the instruction of the little lady and checked my bag. When I returned to the TSE Precheck line, she was nice enough to make me go forward skipping others in the line. Talking about privileges .. Mann.

Legroom in front seat on Economy Plus

So I took the seat in the economy plus based on my premier status. The old white lady next to me was extremely nice and trying to speak slowly to me as she thought I may not know English.  She asked me if I was going back home to India? I said no, my home is in bay area. She looked at me awkwardly and then did not speak to me for the rest of the journey. I am not complaining as I watch the film, London has Fallen with things blowing up all over the Queens city. 

London has Fallen - the film

I had three hours break at Newark airport and I spent most of it in the United Club. Free beer and spicy hot Jumbalaya soup. Then it was time to go to my gate for flight to Monsoon Mumbai. Apparently I will get there in the middle of heavy downpours ... Charming.

I was shocked to see the lines at the gate were as long as the DTC bus lines at Jantar Mantar. The 10 year old boy was slapping his dad on the face as he was bored waiting in the line. The dad was taking it all as part of fatherly love and the mom was watching it with a smile from ear to ear. I decided to not stand in that line and grab a scotch on the rocks instead.

Premier Access Boarding

As planned, I consumed my scotch and waited for the crowd to go through and then walked in to my seat in the front row of the premium economy. I thought I was smart to pick up a seat that was next to an unoccupied seat.  I am feeling rather relaxed and chilling in my seat when a desi "Babu" comes up and asks me ... "Excoose me. I have 12 B" and my bubble just burst. He takes the seat and then smiles at me. I am concerned ... What does he want? He asks if it's OK to put his bag on the overhead baggage space behind him? I was relieved. He takes the seat next to me and I have the nastiest surprise of my journey. The dude does not believe in deodorants. I smell a wave of body odor .... 

I think he was awake when I took this pic

I have to sit with this dude for next 14 hours. "Bhenchod", I swear ... But I know I am in it for next 14 hours. I need divine help?

May be this video can help me ...