Understanding Family Titles in Punjab

An important part of Indian culture is an expectation of “display of respect” from those who are younger or are considered socially inferior (subordinates, lowers castes, or anybody who might appear less powerful, etc.). We express this respect in a huge variety of subtle and obvious ways.

Punjabi Sikh Family

Within the family, We use these terms everyday to call our mothers, fathers, older siblings, and other relations.  In order to understand the meaning of these terms, we have to learn about their linguistic origin and regional affiliations. Punjabi is an ancient language and has its origin in Prakrit, the precursor to the grammatically structured Sanskrit. These terms are deeply rooted in Prakrit and Sankrit languages and has a lot of commonalities with Latin, the mother of all European languages.

Honorary Titles for Mother

The terms used to honor the mother traces its origin to the hypothetical, reconstructed Proto Indo-European language, of which Sanskrit is the best preserved most ancient descendant. The Latin term for mother is Mātṛ or Mater and it corresponds to the Sanskrit term मातृ also pronounced Matr. The term translates to Madre in Italian and Spanish, Mãe in Portoguese, Mitéra in Greek, Mama in Russian, and a simple मां or Maa in Hindi.

A Punjabi Matriarch

Mata-ji is the most common honorary title for mothers in Punjabi. Its origin lies in Sanskrit term Mātṛ. The suffix -ji is used to add respect to the title.

Amma-ji is another honorary title for the mother and its origin lies in the Sanskrit term Amba symbolizing the Mother Goddess and the Buddhist Pali term Ammā. When some of the Indians converted to Islam this term was modified to Ammi-jaan preserving its original meaning.

Ma-ji or Mai is also used in Punjabi for an older lady of age similar to one's mother. Its a shortened abbreviation of Mata.

Bibi-ji or Bi-ji was introduced in Punjab during the Mughal period and has its origin in Central Asia.  In Lebanese and Syrian dialect of Arabic. the word “Bibi" is used for the grandma.  Bibi means mistress of the house in Hindustani and is frequently used as a respectful title for women in South Asia when added to the given name, such as Aisha Bibi or Aisha Bi for short. Punjabis adopted this term  after the 17th century and it does not have any mention in Sri Guru Granth Sahib. The other possible origin of this title could be the shortened version of the commonly used term as Pabi-ji or as honorary title for the older sister in law of the family.

Punjabi Joint Family

Pabi-ji or Pabo-ji is also a term commonly used to call the matriarchs of the family. Its origin lies in the construct of a nucleus joint families of the past era. The term Pabi means sister-in-law or the bride of the older brother. In recent past, when Punjabis used to live as part of a large joint-families, all younger siblings and cousins used to call the newcomer bride as "Pabi". Over time as new generations are added to the big family, everyone continued to call her "Pabi-ji" with affection even after she became a grandmother.

Honorary Titles for Father

The terms used to honor the father traces its origin to Indo-germanic language Sanskrit. The Latin term for father is Pitṛ or Pater and it corresponds to the Sanskrit term पितृ also pronounced Pitr. The term translates to Padre in Italian, Pae in Portoguese, and a simple Pita in Hindi.

A Punjabi Patriarch

Pita-ji is commonly used to call the father and grandfathers with respect in Punjab. With the influx of English, the modern fathers prefer to be called Daddy or Papa but in Punjabi it became Daddy-ji or Papa-ji. The term Pita-ji is now limited to the grandfathers but most use the term "Dada-ji" which means the patriarch of the family in Hindi and Punjabi.

Bapu-ji is one of the most common way to call father in East Punjab but its not limited in use for the grandfathers. Phonetically the term is linked to and sounds more like an affectionate version of Bhapa-ji. Just like younger kids would call their uncle Chachu in affection.

Bhapa-ji was the most commonly used name for the patriarch of the family in united Punjab before the partition. The term is still in use among the migrants from West Punjab who settled in Indian Punjab after the creation of Pakistan. The origin of this name is similar to the use of term Pabi-ji for the matriarch. In West Punjab, the older brother was respectfully called "Bhapa ji". As the nucleus joint-family grew, the title was used by everyone in affection, even after the elder brother became a grandfather. The term is still in use in the Majha region of Punjab for calling the grandfathers.

Dar-ji is a unique term used by the Sikh children to call their fathers. Its a shortened or abbreviated terms originating from the Sardar-ji, the honorary title for a Sikh gentleman. I had relations who used to call their dad, Darji. The term is lost in the modern world of Daddys and Papas.

Sikh Gentlemen - 1960s

Bau-ji was a term used to call the father during the British period. Its origin comes from the tittle Babu-ji, given to an Indian gentleman working in the civil service of the British Raj in India. The children heard their father being referred to as Bau-ji, and started referring him in similar fashion. My own grandfather was called "Bau-ji" due to his service in Indian Railways and later in sugar industry.

Honorary Titles for Brother

The terms used to honor the older brother traces its origin to Sanskrit also. The word for brother is
भ्|तृ pr Bhratr in Sanskrit and it corresponds to the Latin term Frateṛ. This is the root word to define Fraternity or Brotherhood.

Kapoor Brothers with Dad Prithviraj Kapoor

The term is transformed in Punjabi dialects differently.

Bhapa-ji is the term used in the West Punjab regions of Pothohar and Majha and is derived directly from the Sanskrit term Bhrata. 

Prah-ji is the literal deviation of the Sanskrit term Bhrata from the Lahore region of West Punjab.

Pah-ji is further deviation of the term "Prah-ji" in the East Punjab. This term is commonly used in the Doaba and Malwa region predominantly.

Bai-ji is the term used for brother in certain part of Malwa region in East Punjab bordering Haryana.

Veer-ji is another term that continues to be used for the older brother in Punjab. This term was typically used by the younger sisters for the older brother. The origin of this term is ancient and goes back to the period when sisters used to tie Rakhdi on brothers wrist to symbolize their love. The "Brave" brother in return takes a vow to protect the sisters with his life. Overtime this term has been used by all younger siblings to call the older brother with respect.

Brother-Sister Bond

Honorary Title for Sister

Bhen-ji is the most common way to call the older sister in Punjab. Its origin also lies in Sanskrit term भगिनी or Bhaginee or Bhagin. Overtime this term was deviated to become Bhen or Behn.

Punjabi Sisters

 The term for younger sister in Sanskrit is सोदर्या or Sodarya corresponding to the term Soror in Latin This is the root word to define Sorority or sisterhood.

Bebe-ji was the term used in rural Punjab for older sister. The oldest use of this term is found in Janamsakhis where the older sister of Guru Nanak is referred to as Bebe Nanaki.

Bobo is a deviation of Punjabi term Bebe and is most commonly used in Haryana and certain areas of Punjab bordering Haryana.